Fucking love. Always love.

Fuck I hate love. I love love. Love, love, love.

Love aches. Love radiates.

Love sailed a thousand ships.

Love gives prose to the poets, words to the song, colour to the artist.

Love can torment and uplift us.

Love,

Love,

Fucking love.

I write this ensnared somewhere deep in the tragic and poetic romanticism of the tumultuous trappings of love. Or at least it feels so. And, yes, it’s ridiculous, melodramatic and utterly absurd. I feel disgustingly romantic. But it is also completely involuntarily. It’s like a speck of gold dust has slipped seamlessly into my blood stream, floated inconspicuously to the heart where it multiplied ferociously and is now being viciously circulated to permeate every parameter of my being. To my infinite frustration and in spite of the very best efforts of those little white blood cells to maintain my immunity, these little specks of love have consumed all in their path, obliterating my defences and rendering my usually chirpy self almost paralytically morose.

Why do we do it? Why do we love? Love is when I try so hard to steel myself against the urge to text you, to forcibly silence my desire to tell you that I admire you, value you, and find you inherently fascinating. Love is when I find my eyes magnetically drawn to you in a room teething with people and feel like I could just talk to you about everything, and it never grow tiresome. Love is when you demonstrate blatant disinterest in me, and yet you still constantly and intrusively interject into the deepest regions of my thought-scape and hold my heart at siege. This love is against all my better judgement. But if you love someone, for fuck's sake, tell them.

And with this love, I am trying valiantly to part. Sometimes we need to get over love. Not love as a whole, not love as a wider and abstract entity, but those dangerous and debilitating loves that have the ability to torment and hurt us to our very raw and inner core like nothing else. I must realise that unrequited love is not necessarily vindictive, although it may feel overwhelmingly so. Cruel though its effect on us may be, love is such that sometimes the person for whom we are willing to move mountains, simply does not return the sentiment. This doesn’t mean they’re inherently horrid, or that we are somehow inadequate. You just don’t love me.

Try to move on while never losing sight of the beauty, hope, joy and wonder that love has the potential to bring. Naturally, it’s easier said than done. You can’t instantly force yourself to stop loving someone. You can tell yourself that they’re not worth worrying about and maintain a face of strength and happiness and indifference and yet be excruciatingly aware, that, deep down, that person is still the epicentre of the shaking fault lines of our broken heart. Sometimes falling out of love happens without us even realising it, and a moment comes when suddenly you realise that they are no longer the be all and end all, they are not flawless, and you can say, “I don’t care so much anymore.”

Love

Little speck of gold dust

Drift us airily among the clouds

Or leaden us down with heavy heart

Beam our hearts with shards of light

Or pierce with broken glass

But love

Always love

“We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, and hour, an afternoon. But that doesn’t diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.”

– C.S. Lewis

Apple ciders, barefoot football and lazy twilights

My first exam is in two days and, despite the most honourable of intentions, the past few days have been dangerously devoid of any form of study. Yet I find myself remarkably lackadaisical about the whole affair. Summer, after all, is in the air. The world is crawling incrementally towards the better solstice and the warm fingers of sunrays are edging over the Rimutakas to hold our harbour city in their grasp. With them they bring lingering twilight, crisp apple ciders, barefoot football, the sting of the shower against sunburnt skin, amiable company and the inescapable allure of gelato, sand and surf at Oriental Bay.


Some gorgeous wisdom on how to enjoy that wonderful gift of a summer's afternoon. Go from babe to babe

Well worth the download for some swinging summer tunes- Itchy Feet


Sunny Afternoon- The Kinks

"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit.  A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world."

  ~Ada Louise Huxtable

"Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language."

~Henry James

Colours of the rain.

 The hardest moments are what inject colour into our lives. If life were always easy the artist's palette would be boring and one dimensional. We need the tears, the anguish, the challenge, and the struggle to discover the beautiful darkened hues. We need to open ourselves up to life to experience the full spectrum and subtle gradations of colours. Without the leaden and ominous greys of the thunderclouds there would not be a rainbow left in their wake.







Clouds themselves are beautiful in a haunting and mysterious way. The distant rumble of encroaching thunder and the feeling of electric magnetism that permeates the air just before a storm belittes all human kind to the ethereal power of the universe. That moment of unnerving stillness where the birds hush and the whole world seems to stop and draw anticipated breath- that is the moment where I feel some sort of inexplicable magic is capturing the earth.

A thunderstorm on a summer's evening is an awesome spectacle in the truest sense of the word. And there is something exceptionally peaceful about lying in bed and listening to the rain on the roof. We need those moments so that when the sun heaves aside the great iron curtains of the thunder clouds we can take in the invigorating smells of the rejuvenated earth and notice the vibrant green of the glistening leaves.

Embrace what life throws at you. Dance in the puddles in the rain. Because everything, even the gloomy moments, haa poetic quality and make the canvas of our lives interesting.

We used to wait...

Remember the days when a trip to the letter box would yield more than a barrage of correspondence from studylink? When letters might make you smile, rather than reminding you that you're indebted to the government for life?

Snail mail is rapidly becoming obsolete in a world of facebook, emails and cell-phones. Yet, marvelous though these technologies are, they'll never provide that heart-warming feeling of opening a real, handwritten letter.

The days when people were forced to communicate via post are unfathomable to our generation who can contact someone on the other side of the world at a click of a button, and can view 'what's on the mind' of hundreds of people on one facebook homepage.

Yet, easy and accessible as they are, these new forms of communication seem a little bit emotionally hollow. There's something so special about knowing that someone has made the effort to write something down on paper, just for you, and that that letter has made a journey on a boat, a plane, and a postman's bag all the way to your letter box. As a child I used to delight in running to the letter box every morning as soon as I heard the postman's ute.

This is a wonderful 'interactive music video' by Arcade Fire... Type in the address where you grew up and prepare to be amazed. 

Click here!

The lyrics really struck a chord with me...

"... It seems strange

how we used to wait for letters to arrive

But what's stranger still

is how something so small can keep you alive..."

So even though our world is changing fast, take a peaceful moment to sit down with a coffee and a pen and write a letter. Find a penpal, write to your grandma, keep in touch with an old friend... It is a lovely thing to do, and will bring a smile to someone's face.

Stop dreaming, start living...

Sometimes, when you stop dreaming about your fairytales, and thinking about what could be...

And take the time to look at the world around you...

You realise...

that paradise is in your backyard...

That the most heartfelt expression of love is the graffiti scrawled on the wall...

That determination can be seen in the most unlikely of circumstances...

And that happiness is not found at a tropical island resort, but in the spring sunshine and the rosy-cheeked feeling of the first sunburn of the season.

So

Dream, yes.

Hope, yes.

Let your imagination run wild.

But, 

Get up early to watch the sunrise.

Listen to the birds chirp.

Put a flower in your hair.

Notice the little things.

Dance. Don't worry about what people think. Just dance.

Roll down a hill.

Spend long summer evenings with your friends.

Let the wind blow through your hair.

And next time you're feeling down...

Look,

Listen,

Love,

Smell the roses...

And realise,

your life, your very own life,

is BEAUTIFUL.

A tribute to loveliness...

I've seriously neglected this blog thus far. It was suffering from somewhat of an identity crisis, as I didn't know quite what to do with it. 

I've now decided that this will be my 'girly' blog. I'm not much of a girly girl- give me a football and some sunshine and I'll prefer that to a romantic comedy any day! However, like any girl, I can't help but dream of beautiful dresses and handsome princes and falling in love 

and sipping champagne in Paris like a scene out of gossip girl.

Recently I've been inspired by a series of lovely blogs, full of gorgeous images that speak to the hopeless romantic inside of me. I'm a sucker for romance after all, and this blog is from now on a testament to all the loveliness that I happen to stumble upon.

Here's a few of my recent sources of inspiration:

This one here belongs to a friend of mine who has the most amazing red hair and a gorgeous sense of style!

Sunsurfer has countless stunning images from all over the world.  Not only does it inspire me to visit all the beautiful places in our world, but it makes me feel extremely lucky when I see places I've already visited.

gorgeoustakethecity

Karla has incredible style!

1001 ways to be more lovely